Co-Topping

What is Co-Topping?

Co-topping is a scene where more than one top plays with one or more bottoms. The ‘CO’ in co-topping refers to the common English prefix co- which means mutually, jointly, common or cooperatively. It denotes that the tops should be working together, this can happen in many different ways. There are many motivations why more than one top would want to play together in a scene.

Why Co-Topping?

Why in the world would a top want to share the pleasure of a great scene? Why would a bottom want more than one top holding the handle of a flogger as they anticipate the thud? Why would anyone want to complicate the logistics and mechanics of a scene by adding more humans? Here are some reasons why co-topping might be desirable (or necessary).

  • Intensity: Bottom who needs more than one top to get the level of intensity they desire - this intensity can be physical, emotional or both.

  • Mix and Match: Combining multiple variable skill-sets (one top is a Rigger, the other is a whip expert).

  • Specialists: Tops have equivalent skill-sets but different techniques or equipment.

  • Logistics: Scene inherently requires multiple tops (an abduction/interrogation scene might be an example of this).

  • Educational: An experienced top might use a co-topping scene to mentor a less experience one.

  • Physical Limitation: Tops might assist other tops in a scene due to some physical limitation or disability.

  • Multiple Bottoms: Oftentimes if there are multiple bottoms involved, this will necessitate multiple tops being involved.


    Configurations and/or Dynamics

    In a typical scene the configuration of individuals can be pretty simple, however when you add multiple tops into the mix different combinations of dynamics are possible. Below are some of the possibilities I have experienced.

  • Collaborative: All tops are working towards the same goal and are helping each other get there. Not all tops have to be engaged in the scene at the same time - this can be the addition of a “warm up” or “finale” top.

  • Competitive: The tops are competing to be superlative in some metric. That metric may be to make the bottom safeword first, or get the loudest or most entertaining reaction, or invoke the most reaction, etc.

  • Sadists Assistant: “Leader Top” with an “Assistant” - often occurs when there are a mix of Power Exchange (PE) and non-PE dynamics (e.g. the bottom is collaring to one of the tops but not the other).

  • Good Cop/Bad Cop: Tops working together in a Good Cop/Bad Cop or Bad Cop/Worse Cop framework.

  • Guest Star or Cameo: An additional Top enters the scene for a very specific reason, oftentimes for a specific short period of time and then exits.

Best Practices for Co-Topping

Below are some best practices I’ve found from my experiences in co-topping. Your mileage may vary.

  • When the tops have a common goal and are focused on the bottom(s) I find they often build a connection and find a rhythm.

  • All tops are not only paying attention to what they are doing and how the bottom reacts to it, they are watching (when possible) what the other top(s) are doing and how the bottom reacts to them as well. You can learn and plan what to do next based on what’s working or not working with another top in the scene.

  • Tops working collaboratively will develop verbal and non-verbal communication protocols between themselves organically.

  • The tops don’t have to have a personal relationship, but a common interest in the success of the scene and maintaining the negotiated conditions of the scene are crucial to making this work. In my experience, it is much more fun when you at least like your co-top.

  • Make sure any Authority Transfer/Power Exchange dynamics are discussed as part of the negotiations.

    Ramifications for Scene Negotiations

    Here are some ramifications of co-topping to your scene negotiations from my experience. Again, your mileage may vary.

  • More sets of limits and limitations, wants and needs, etc. to deal with.

  • Much of this depends on who initiates the scene (and negotiation), if the bottom(s) ask for it, usually they have an idea why they want multiple Tops, this is a good place to start. If this is initiated from one or more of the tops then the onus is on them to come up with ideas about how they anticipate things working.

  • Negotiations can be group or negotiated between bottom and individual tops.

  • Any contingency plans may be more complicated with multiple tops.

  • Is aftercare going to be done collaboratively as well?

  • Authority Transfer/Power Exchange dynamics need to be discussed to ensure that no protocols are disrespected/broken.